What I learned from meditating for 30 days
DISCLOSURE.
Okay, so contrary to the title I chose for this blog… If you have listened to the mini “Topic In Focus” episodes, you’ll know- I’m totally guilty of skipping some days. There, I cleared the air. But hey, I tried… So here’s a few take aways from this experience.
MY INTRO.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve heard about meditation & even used to poke fun of it. When I was little, I went to the Self Realization Gardens in Encinitas on a field trip. Now, this spot is one of my absolute favorite places in North County, San Diego to go and be still. When I was little though, I remember sitting cross-legged near one of the many meditating areas and humming super loudly “OHHHM”, because that’s what my friends were doing too. Little did I realize, it was probably extremely disrespectful.
Fast forward to now, 30 years old and I have finally embarked on my first 30 days of consistent meditating. My fiancé and I have recorded the whole thing through mini 10 minute podcasts each week. If you have been following along with our first #30daychallenge, then you know what I’m referring to.
But when the perfectionist in me is tasked with a decidedly imperfect project, the roadmap for relaxation becomes a little complicated. And meditation, with its prescribed finger positions, rhythmic breathing patterns and generally Zen aura, can be intimidating, right? Especially for an over-thinking artist like me. What do I think about? Oh just everything and anything I can worry about, you bet your sweet cheeks I’m going to worry about it. My thoughts persisted in the beginning… Am I even capable? Listen along to our 4 short episodes to hear all the ups and downs of the process for me. I am brutally honest about the days I skipped and the bad attitude I had at times around sticking to this 30 day challenge.
So, If the mental gymnastics frazzled my already-manic brain, what would happen when I actually tried meditating? Thankfully, I have my fiancé Jay, who is a Marriage and family therapist and much MUCH more experienced in the realm of all things mindful. To kickstart my pursuit for inner peace, Jay zeroed in on three essentials that help hone the practice: beginning, breathing and physical positioning. These key aspects make an already-intimidating practice more accessible and, most importantly, useful. Jay often reminds me “It’s a practice, and even yogis and masters of meditation still have passing thoughts. It’s not perfect, it’s practice.”
Also, I’d like to note that Jay has already written the most beautiful blog on this subject that I will link here. But, I wanted to write my own little summary for my readers about the 3 take aways on how to JUST START and what I got from the whole thing.
THE MAIN THING THAT TRULY HAS HELPED ME.
Okay, so it took me a while to even realize and come to the conclusion that THIS is truly what I am going to utilize the most. So, one of the breathing excersizes that Jay taught me was this circle breathing. I tend to have very gnarly dreams. And vivid, too… Like, terrifying. Then, when I wake (usually distraught and scared) it then prompts my worries to begin. Sometimes before bed, also, I have a hard time quieting my thoughts and especially all my stresses. It’s a habit I’m really trying to work on. So, when I wake up from bad dreams, or i’m simply trying to fall asleep… I’ve been doing this circle breathing thing. When you inhale, visualize half a circle and as you exhale, envision you are finishing the circle. What this does for me, is gets me into a healthy breathing pattern. Which, through all of this- I have learned I REALLY really don’t have. Before I know it, I’m waking up in the morning, so clearly- this practice puts me back to sleep… even when i’m being pessimistic and thinking that it won’t work. So many other great take-aways from this meditation journey, but honestly this one I will probably use like several times a week.
WHY YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
Okay, here it is in my own little words and ways of explaining. Again, I’m in no way shape or form an expert on this, I am quite the opposite. I am also not a health care or mental health professional, energy worker or anything cool like that. I’m just a gal, with a super cool therapist fiancé who inspires me to learn more about all this healthy living stuff, and keeping an open mind to all things that will make me better. Okay, so here is my beginners tips. Again for a much more details and professional version of this, please check out Jay’s blog, LOL.
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT (In fact, nothing in life does.)
If the thought of a silent, hour-long session, um, terrifies you, don’t worry… because, same. To start, Jay explains that you only need a few minutes. Before you know it, three minutes turns into five minutes, which turns into ten minutes—and the idea of working to quiet your thoughts becomes more and more of a regular practice.
Likewise, you don’t need an alter or special space. You can do this anywhere, in your car, in the sunshine, in your home, on your lunch break. Apply whenever is needed. It doesn’t have to be perfect (like I thought it did)! I was the type who would say “I just can’t meditate. I think too much.” But, I didn’t understand at the time, that the brain is just like a muscle… You don’t build overnight. It takes time to create new pathways and habits. Meditation & mindfulness is no exception.
BREATHE (Something apparently I don’t do.)
So, you’ve set aside out a couple minutes—now where do I begin? I just closed my eyes. Then, focus on deepening your breathe through your diaphragm. Do a little body scan. Anyone who’s just starting out, learn how to breathe deeper into the diaphragm. Jay shared one way with me that helped me visualize a consistent breathing pattern. Which, side note- I have found during this process that I truly don’t think I breathe like a regular human. I breathe too shallow and definitely not regularly. Anyways, I’m learning. The way that Jay shared with me is to visualize a circle. With one inhale, that makes half the circle, and exhale makes the other half. It is obviously hard to explain during this, so I will link a couple great YouTube videos I like that we found. They have visuals and sound that are great for beginners. Alot of people also have suggested and enjoyed apps like “Calm” and other mindful awareness apps.
POSITION (No, not karma sutra, get your mind out of the gutter.)
I think the physical aspect is important because it puts us presently into our bodies. A lot of times I notice that I’m like hovering above my body, super unaware and lacking all components of being present. These physical gestures, called “mudras,” are wide-ranging, but beginners can benefit from placing their hands on their chest (this helps connect with and slow breath). They say (whoever “they” are) that whether you’re putting your hands on your physical body or just having them in your lap, being conscious of your hands can really help you customize and open up.
MINDSET (Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard this one before. Bare with me.)
Okay, all realness, this one has been a big struggle for me y’all.
I truly think the mindset may have been the hardest part the last 30 days.
Getting myself into the mindset to sit down and take that 5-10 minutes to commit to doing this thing. I act like it’s some inconvenience to my life. Like, I act like I didn’t CHOOSE to do this challenge with Jay. (Laughing to myself) I actually ENCOURGAED this one. Yet, here I was like 6 days in, complaining… and not being real positive if I may add. I slowly pulled myself out of it and realized that taking those few minutes to actually kind teach myself how to breath was EYE OPENING. How have I not been breathing my whole existence? Anyways, MINDFUL meditation is all about becoming AWARE and present. And, boy… I will definitely continue to practice these things. Ya girl needs it. It feels so good to be doing something that I KNOW has so much research proving that it can better my life in so many ways.
To summarize all this… In the strange and uncertain time we are living in (going through this pandemic all together) It is a mystical coincidence that Jay and I chose mindful meditation for our FIRST EVER #30daychallenge. This little writing is not only to wrap up March’s first challenge between Jay & I, but to also bring this method to more people’s awareness, because it’s changed me in the last month.
It seems it may be just the thing we need while we are cooped up at home & unsure of our future requirements and laws to come with the spread of Covid-19. I hope our little podcast episodes make you laugh & possibly inspire you. Our goal is to get you encouraged to make some healthy life changes. Follow along with us as each month we do a different #30day challenge together and build a mini community full of good mental health practices and positivity. Are you in? Stay tuned for each months #30daychallenges and watch out for what we choose for April.
Stay positive, stay healthy and be kind, my friends.
Xo, Carlie
Stay tuned for our APRIL CHALLENGE! Announced later today!
Photos in this blog were taken by Jay Wick, @2twnty2 @two.and.twentytwo
Any further information about Jay’s therapy practice, blogs or podcasts, please visit his website.